Leaves Are Changing?
On College and Chaos Week 1
Week 0 - The Irish Thing
Sat 8/24/2024
We’re doing that first-game-of-the-year-is-in-Ireland thing again. #10 Florida State plays Georgia Tech for the ACC Week 0 championship game. GameDay, now with 100% more Saban, was on location in Dublin. These days, the show has nothing much to add, but I hung around for the wide shots of castles and rocky coasts and cobblestone streets full of a bunch of people who flew out of my city to get there. Also, the feature on Tech’s Irish-born punter David Shanahan, specifically his account of a phone call from his mom after one of his first games: “I thought they weren’t supposed to hit you!” “Yeah mom, me too!” As a bonus, the strongest personality on the broadcast was the FSU crowd, who booed enthusiastically whenever it was Kirk Herbstreit’s turn to speak, apparently for his stance of “FSU had it coming to miss the playoff as an undefeated conference champion because their conference is so weak.” Flying across an ocean to exercise petty grudge on (inter)national TV? We are B A C K.
Of interest for later: Oh no, Georgia comes in respected, what do we do? It’s ok, everyone was so mad about FSU missing the playoff last year that Georgia also gets to be “overlooked” in that nobody has been talking about how good they are? The mental gymnastics required of the football coach/pundit brain remain the greatest endurance sport in existence.
FSU opened with a touchdown drive and a slick 2-point conversion. Georgia Tech answered with a slick touchdown drive of their own. Oh so that's what Tech’s fight song sounds like. It's raining in Dublin and full-on fighting drunk. We are starting the year power running. We’ve got kickers blasting field goals from a mile out (that’s 1.61 kilometers out). We got a tied halftime score 14-14, followed by a lot of passing and a lot of punting and no more scoring into the 3rd quarter. Then, tied 21-21 at the final minute, Tech set up for a last-second field goal. With 44 yards and a damn dream, and Irish Punter (complimentary) Shanahan holding, they drilled it through for the first win of the year. And #10 FSU goes down to another team from the state up north (still sore from playing Georgia in January). Per Joe Tessatore as the ball fell to earth: "Welcome back to college football. Remove your sad face and jump the shark."
Florida State started their 2024 revenge tour by flying to Dublin and losing to a team of newly empowered run-the-damn-ball Yellow Jackets. Light your expectations of fire and deposit the ash in the proper receptacle on your way to the pub.
Back stateside, FCS Montana State beat Mountain West New Mexico. It might not seem like a watershed moment, a harbinger of hope for those hopeful for chaos. BUT. A weak FBS team losing to a strong FCS team is a friendly reminder: the winds are picking up and you all need to watch your ass.
SMU got beaten up by Nevada for 3 quarters, then woke up (as soon as I went to bed) to turn around and win. Even before remembering how to play football, the Ponies were picking non-sensical fights in all directions. Great! At least for this first year in the conference, there’s nowhere to punch but up. Welcome to the ACC ponies.
For the rest of us, find something to grab onto, it’s going to get rough.
Week 1 – Leaves are Changing?
Sat 8/31/2024 (but also Thursday, Friday, Sunday, and Monday)
I spotted a single cormorant out on the lake, barely staying afloat, swimming deep and long, popping up somewhere far off from where I tried to guess.
She came home from the store with the year’s first haul of pumpkin donuts, and I had the first Octberfest beer with lunch (you have to buy it early because it’s gone by October). I made another run out to the store for a few things we left off the list. The Proclaimers came on the radio so I sat in the parking lot an extra couple minutes. The store with the good sky.
It's still 90 degrees but we are fall-brained.
How smart do you think the snake oil guy felt, inventing that particular "lie for money" gig. Even after they passed the new law against lying about what you’re selling, he could have gotten away with it if he just didn't say he made his stuff from boiled snakes. The capsaicin in his little elixir made the skin feel warm when applied, and that's all it really needed. The only prosecutable lie was the ingredients, not what it could do. But “pepper water” wouldn't have paid the bills. He needed the lie. So he rode it all the way until he couldn’t.
North Dakota State at Colorado. I know that buffalo and bison are different animals, mistakenly used interchangeably. But I couldn't tell you the difference until I looked it up. It turns out the furry rumbling beasts with the horns and beards roaming the plains of North America – all of them – are the bison. One of these things here is pretending. The broadcast universe is still really pounding that "Colorado is the center of football" angle. The FCS powerhouse (the real Bison) almost pulled it off. But the hype train survives just a little longer.
Michigan State needed all four quarters to beat FAU. Same for Wisconsin against Western Michigan.
We are in limbo, part relaxing, part planning, part winding down, part ramping up. We have pre-fall festivities. We have summer bonus rounds. Football is finally on. There is maybe one more weekend at the pool before the heat settles below the red line for the year.
The weather is (almost) more inviting than intimidating. The mind and skin and heart don’t quite match up when stepping out the door. Not just yet. And along with other funny feelings this time of year, sometimes the game is in a dome while both teams’ home fields sit idle, grass just growing.
Georgia vs. Clemson in Atlanta. The last time they played, Georgia won 10-3 on the way to their first national championship since 1980 (you may have heard of it). Today it started out similarly as a dust cloud brawl. The only scoring in the first half came from two Georgia field goals, including a career-long 55-yarder. Foreshadowing: I should get a playlist of Kirby Smart halftime speeches to get up and moving on sluggish Monday mornings. Instead of taking the 3rd quarter off, the Bulldogs turned on the gas. 20-3. Then 27-3. Then a huge interception. Final: 34-3 and a 40-game regular season win streak.
Virginia Tech at Vanderbilt. Diego Pavia has brought the Land of Enchantment to Nashville. The Commodores led by two touchdowns at one point and looked downright dominant by Vandy standards. Then later, tied at 27, they missed a game-winning field goal and settled for overtime. In years past, this is where the collapse would set in. It was a good try, it really was. But today, the SEC little brothers were not done. Vandy TD in overtime. Then they held Virginia Tech out of the endzone, forcing a long 4th down shot, which flew high over coverage and out the back of the endzone. Hey Vanderbilt just opened with a Power 4 (still feels weird to say) win. To the stats! That’s the end of Vanderbilt’s 61-game losing streak while trailing by 7+ points in the 4th quarter. Circle that Vanderbilt-Auburn game. I know Hugh Freeze already has. I like to think that Pavia has no idea he is Freeze’s own personal ghost.
“I’m terrified of you.”
“Hi, who are you again?”
Miami was crowd surfing. Florida spent the evening in the bathroom. The Gators’ 34-year opener win streak came to an end.
The local hummingbird is pleased that the hanging geranium has bloomed. We thought it was dead, but it flowered again and I don’t know if that’s normal. The mystery zinnia is also growing strong and tall. It came home from school last spring planted in a cup, and she couldn’t remember what the teacher said it was. There's a fresh litter of newly yellow leaves after a rainstorm.
I lost count of the lightning delay games. The chaos gods are running the clouds today.
South Carolina had trouble with Sun Belt Old Dominion. Not too much trouble, but more trouble than is generally comfortable.
Georgia State at Georgia Tech. I’m pretty sure these are physically the closest FBS teams, their fields separated by less than 3 miles of downtown highway, one on the east side, one on the west. The Panthers didn’t win, but everyone got to go home to their own beds after playing at the worse stadium up the road, and I think that's nice.
Boise State came out of the high desert plateau to the humid southeast coast to beat Georgia Southern in a 56-45 shootout.
Jeanty ran 500 miles
Jeanty ran 500 more
Just to be man who ran a thousand miles
To burn down Statesboro
Notre Dame went to Texas A&M. The Ted Cruz curse lives on, and the Irish left the Aggies aching.
LSU vs. USC in Las Vegas. The air looks hazy. The turf looks wrinkled. Viva Las Vegas. We’ve got acrobat receivers pulling comets to earth. We’ve got linebackers taking down runaway trucks with bare hands (I remember Harold Perkins, he's trouble). So the backups promoted to starting quarterbacks both look really good. The sloppy-turned-revamped defenses look really good, too. So they're just shadow boxing here. Blow for blow punching each other in the fist. Until. Oops here’s 0-1 LSU again. How do you feel Brian Kelly? It’s ok, I’ll ask the press conference table with the fist-shaped dent in it.
Minnesota (well, North Carolina) ruined the Big 10’s perfect week.
The kids played school, accidentaly learning math. Then they cleaned their bedroom and playroom without being asked, making room for whatever they come up with next. Got on a roll and changed sheets too.
For Labor Day, Boston College played at Florida State. The vibes are bad in north Florida. They are seeing ghosts in gold helmets. The stands look half-empty? Boston College led by two touchdowns to FSU’s two field goals at halftime. The vibes stayed bad and actually got worse. #10 FSU has now lost to two unranked (but rapidly improving) teams before the pre-season rankings can even get adjusted. Congratulations on the top-10 0-2 record.
The sun is setting further to the south along the horizon. The early fall evening light playing with the late summer storm clouds to paint a fleeting picture of what has been and what will be, all soon to be erased by the thin, smooth night. It’s the last run on the waterside, the last jump into the deep end. Tuck away all the progress learning to swim, to pick up again next year. The summer is over. It’s time to see what we’ve learned.
-The Dad Rock